Need to Upgrade Your Disposition?

A woman’s disposition plays a big part in the atmosphere of her home. In this Relationship UPGRADE by Dawn Wilson, we’ll look at how this is true.

Yes, a husband and children have parts to play too, but if you are a woman in a home full of people, your attitudes figure in as a big part in the nurturing atmosphere of your home.

Your attitudes can either resemble a dreary, gray day  –putting a damper on everything that goes on – or a sunny, cheerful day. Attitudes permeate all the relationships in the home and office. A disposition can have great influence for good or harm.

Parents will soon discover good attitudes are “caught” long before they are taught. And attitudes can sow seeds of destruction or strength in marriages too.

Years ago, I read this story* in the book Your Marriage–Duel or Duet? by Louis H. Evans:

A young man asked a Dr. Edwards for the hand of his daughter in marriage. Dr. Edwards refused–quite a setback for a young suitor. He said, “Why can I not marry your daughter? I love her.”

Dr. Edwards replied, “I think you do.”

“I can support her.”

He replied, “I suppose you can.”

“Then why can’t I marry her?”

To this, Dr. Edwards answered, “My daughter has a miserable disposition–nobody could live with her and be happy.”

To this the suitor replied with great gallantry, “But you know, Dr. Edwards, there is always the grace of God.”

Dr. Edwards smiled and replied, “When you are as old as I am, young man, you will realize that the grace of God can live with some people that you can’t live with!”

Evans commented, “… I wonder if the grace of God lives with anyone who cannot live with other people. Paul said, ‘Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him’ (Romans 8:9).”

What kind of disposition enhances the home and does not tear down relationships? The disposition that reflects the Spirit of Christ. We’re instructed to pattern our lives after Him (Philippians 2:5-8). Jesus had a humble spirit. A loving and unselfish spirit. We observe His strength in scripture, but also His  peaceable, forgiving spirit. He lived according to the Word of God and the will of the Father (Matthew 4:4; John 4:34; 6:38).

God wants us to have a spirit that lives according to the truth of scripture rather than being driven by feelings.

Evans made this important observation:

“Why is it that some of us are so difficult to live with? Why are some women so short-tempered, so mean in disposition? Many times it lies in the fact that we are simply God-hungry.”

It’s easy for women to get God-hungry. Women today have so many roles. Sometimes inner resources dwindle as we try to nurture and encourage others or just keep up with all our responsibilities. In our busyness, we forget to nourish ourselves so we will have inner strength for the demands of life. 

We feed our souls with snacks–little spoonsful–when what we really need is large scoops of God’s Word.

Does God need to change your disposition? When was the last time you lingered in the presence of God for strength and sustainance?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God(with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author ofLOL with God and contributed “The Blessing Basket” in It’s a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

* Louis H. Evans, Your Marriage–Duel or Duet? (Spire Books, Fleming H. Revell, 1972), pp. 47, 49.