I’m Part of the Grateful (Sidelined) 9,700

Artwork: “GideonChecksHisArmy” by Johann Heinrich Schönfeld (1609-1684), at the Kunsthistorisches Museum. Retrieved from Wikimedia Commons,

No one likes to hear, “You’re sidelined.” When I was first diagnosed with multiple myeloma, I initially thought I would be sidelined from ministry. In those early days of frustration, confusion, weakness, and pain, I doubted I’d ever be able to serve God again.

As I pondered this thought for several months, I came to see the truth about my situation more clearly.  Yes, I was sidelined from my previous ministry, but God still had plans for me to serve him. One of those ways was to joyfully share biblical truths about my Father God with doctors, nurses, and staff at hospitals and infusion wards.

Early in July, I read an article that summarizes how I’ve come to understand at least a little more about God’s purposes for sidelining people. In “Gideon’s 9700,” Sam Beh wrote about the story of Gideon in Judges 7. I’ve read other articles about Gideon’s story numerous times, and the focus was always on God using 300 men to battle the Midianites—300 men culled by reducing the Israeli army from 32,000 soldiers to 10,000, and finally the 300.

Notice: the Judges 7 story is popularly titled “Gideon’s 300,” never “Gideon’s 9,700.”

Never once did I consider the 9,700 soldiers that God sidelined! The 9,700 had sacrificed as much as the 300 chosen men, and they were well-trained and ready for battle. They were just as loyal as the 300, too. They remained with Gideon after he earlier allowed 22,000 fear-filled soldiers to return home.

Of particular interest to me, Beh wrote about the 9,700 dealing with their possible feelings in their honor-shame culture. I felt the sting of being left behind as friends continued to speak and minister in churches and conferences, and when I heard they praise God for how he was using them, I longed for the same.

So I understand how the 9,700 might have felt. “To be sidelined from what turned out to be an unforgettable story of God’s glorious victory must have felt like a gut-punch,” Beh said.

Not Without Purpose

I identified with those 9,700. I had been well-trained in Bible college and on a revival team, and I enjoyed being a “soldier for Christ.” Yet, as I became weak and sick, I had to give up teaching a women’s Bible study. Illness also prevented me from traveling to speak at women’s events. At the time, I secretly questioned what God was doing and wondered whether there was any purpose in Him allowing my cancer.

I began to understand that my sidelining was not without purpose. Beh wrote that the 9,700 were sidelined “to show that it was the hand of God and not the hands of the Israelites that won the day.” The powerful victory came, but it was all of God. The sidelining was by God’s design and for his glory. It wasn’t arbitrary at all.

Beh explained that God knows “exactly where every person needed to be to bring him the most glory.” Gideon’s soldiers simply had different roles in God’s sovereign plan.

A Foundation for Feelings

Like the 9,700 who were likely disappointed by not being on the front lines in the thick of the battle, being sidelined by my illness scrambled my feelings for a while. Mostly, I was disappointed and sad.

Nevertheless, as I studied the Scriptures, God gave me a good foundation for more positive feelings.

1. I acknowledged that God’s sovereign purposes are often beyond my understanding, so I must trust him when my circumstances change (Isaiah 55:8-9; Proverbs 3:5). Faith can overcome unruly feelings.

2. I admitted that things beyond my control challenged my expectations (Proverbs 19:21; Jeremiah 10:23). My plans had to bow in submission to God’s plans.

3. I realized that my roles can change, but still be part of his good plans (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Or as Sam Beh said, “Most of us will go through seasons as part of the 300, and other seasons as part of the 9,700.”

4. I can choose my attitudes—joy, contentment, and gratitude—as I serve God wherever he places me (Philippians 4:4, 8).

5. I can look for opportunities on the “sidelines” to reflect God’s glory in the world (Matthew 5:16; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Ephesians 5:15-16).

6. I can celebrate victories for God’s Kingdom, wherever and through whomever they occur (Psalm 98:1; 1 Corinthians 15:57).

I am not sidelined, as I felt I was back in 2019; I’m just on a different front line.

With a slower pace of life, God has allowed me to write two books—one about how his truth gives us a proper perspective on suffering, and another about how we can glorify him in practical ways.

Praise God, I’m a grateful part of the 9,700!